discouraged

Well I have really been ignoring my blog lately, I was very very busy all of November and December and now I am the complete opposite. I GRADUATED!!! Which is great and all, but I have no job. I don't think I really grasped how difficult it would be to find something (not even something that I would like). I have applied to all sorts of random things and have not heard anything. I know I need to put myself out there more and go seek people rather than let them come to me. I have contacted different people in the event business just to find something full time that I might actually enjoy. I know you are not necessarily going to love your job, especially not your first job - but I have such a passion for creating, designing, and planning events I just wish it could make me some serious money. I would love to start my own business, but that is not on the radar anytime soon. I have thought about going back to school, but I think that is just the easy answer to avoid what is at hand. I just need to get down on my knees and pray that God has a plan and knows what I should be doing. I know he already knows what my future is. He has already blessed me so much this year with a the most amazing niece, my engagement to Matt, an amazing and supportive family that has providing me with so much and the endurance, perseverance and strength to get through school. I am just a planner, I like to know what is going to happen tonight, tomorrow, next month, in five years. I don't like surprises, which I have a feeling I am going to have to put more trust in The Lord and know that I don't have control. It is so hard for me to let go, I really need to work on that. Sorry about my pity party, I know this is not anything to do with the wedding, but it is just nice to get things off your chest.